I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
