I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
