There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
