Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
