Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
