my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
