So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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