Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
that's an acceptable place to lick
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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