That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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