i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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