Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
