Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
