I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
