To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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