I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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