I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
