At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We just shotgunned beers for America
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
