people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
