We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
