Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
