do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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