i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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