Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
