well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
