i permit you to call me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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