I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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