I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
