We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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