My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
