Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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