Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
