dude i'm inner monologue high
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
