if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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