My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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