I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
