call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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