Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
