Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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