Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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