so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
