He is an equal opportunity slut.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize