I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
