there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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