i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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