i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
