So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
