So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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