I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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