she was so not down for the gang bang
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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