I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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