You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
