We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
