sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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