Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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