Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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