A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think your dad took our porno
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
