Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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