Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
