Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize