no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
